Random RAW Thoughts

RAW's Carlito is definitely COOL.

THE PRO-WRESTLING DRIVER SEAT
By Hub Pacheco

Things slowed down for me over the last few weeks that I haven’t found anything to talk about, though I am working on a piece that made me think of my pro-wrestling viewing roots (much like Mr. Ty did before).

That being said, I now revert to a writing technique that I use to avoid the well-thought-out, well-laid-out structures of essay writing – random thoughts. My newswriting teacher might shudder if she knew about this, but hey, it’s summer! The brilliant, well-structured essays are reserved for the upcoming semester.

RAW has been much of a pleasure to watch over the last few months, mainly because it is the A-show, the flagship brand that has carried the company since the 1990s. It was so good that I had to beg off from my leisure trips on Saturday nights. I had to be home before or exactly 6PM for me not to miss a single minute of RAW. This is the complete opposite of SmackDown!, where I usually take my time from going home on Sunday nights. I feel that I won’t miss much of anything even if I missed the whole show. Replays a few days later would suffice. The B-show just isn’t sitting too well for me these days. (Read previous post by Jeff Ty for the reasons). Another reason for RAW’s success is the resurgence of interest to old favorites like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Vince McMahon. Okay, like I said, this piece is gonna be ugly, so here goes:

Random Thought # 1: Carlito is definitely COOL!

On SmackDown! years ago, Carlito was just this annoying Alfalfa-haired goofball running his mouth, dragging along big bodyguards like Jesus and Matt Morgan. His SmackDown! highlights include his interference during WrestleMania 21’s Piper Pit and winning the US title from then-US champ John Cena in his debut match on the show. What is with WWE booking debut championship wins? Gail Kim did it in her debut to win RAW’s Women’s title a couple of years back and Carlito would again win in his debut match on RAW, snatching the Intercontinental championship from Shelton Benjamin.

From the moment Carlito arrived on RAW, he became so over with the fans. I don’t know. He’s the complete package – great mic skills, humorous antics, kooky appearance that’s sure to stick in your mind, and, of course, great innovative wrestling skills. What a COOL backbreaker move! I remember the people who cheered him on when he came to Araneta Coliseum for the RAW live tour last February. His T-shirt was the first one to be sold out.

Carlito is supposed to be playing the heel in his feud with Chris Masters. But for some reason, he’s the babyface? Wha? I don’t get it. Logically, it was Carlito who screwed over Masters a number of times prior to their mini-feud. I guess this would be a good example of fan-based booking. Fans love him, so he’s kind of like Triple H right now, a tweener. Is he supposed to be a face or a heel?

I can say this much – I am very confident about Carlito’s WWE career. He’ll have a good five-ten year run at the rate he’s at. He’ll make for a good main-eventer in the future.

Random Thought # 2: Shelton’s still kicking!

Remember when I said that a Shelton-Charlie Haas feud would rake in big hits? Well, It’s in the works! Thank God! Now, the only problem here is Haas’ mic work. Since coming to RAW, he’s had no mic time. And for his program with Shelton to work, Haas has (a little unintentional tongue twister there) to rebuild a solid foundation for his character. And now that Shelton regained his IC title, there’s automatically a good foundation already set up for their feud. This should be a good one, folks.

Random Thought # 3: I got two words for ya, (not yet!)

How could WWE have planned this out so well? Pure coincidence? SUr e looks like it. It seems that Cena’s win over HHH at WM22 is the precursor to the reformation of the craziest group known to pro-wrestling: the Degeneration-X! Think about it. Had HHH won at WM22, Cena’s career would crash as fast as a virus-infected PC! By having HHH lose to Cena at WM22 & at Backlash, and SIMULTANEOUSLY ending a feud with HBK also at Backlash, Vince can now revert to a turn from Triple H to reform D-X. Given the recent programs with one another, Vince can align with Cena (a heel turn here) and/or Edge while HHH can realign with HHH for D-X. The Vengeance PPV is the scheduled return of D-X and I couldn’t have planned it better.

Both HHH and HBK don’t need this kind of push at this point in their careers, they’re pretty much established as far as ten title reigns and first grand slam title wins are concerned. But they need to do all that crazy D-X shit that made them famous in the late 1990s for their young counterparts (Cena and Edge, to name a few) to become more established main-eventers, since they can’t seem to do it on their own so far.

Random Thought # 4: Arrrmando Alejandro EstRRRada, YEA! Umaga, BOO!

“Haha!” So goes EstRRRada’s trademark laugh. Barely three months on RAW, I have quickly caught on with his thick victory cigars, his accent and his micwork. Since Daivari jumped ship to SmackDown!, RAW has been without a noisy-ass manager. But here’s the difference. Daivari used to managed (used to, sadly) Muhammad Hassan (who I believe had a GREAT potential to be a top heel in the WWE), a no-nonsense wrestler who really had the crowd going, while EstRRRada manages a STUPID, CRAPPY, REPACKAGED Jamal, Umaga. I call Umaga the three-move wrestler – the flying headbutt, the ass train, and the thumb (OH MY!! IT’S THE MOST STUPIDEST FINISHER EVER!!! LOOK OUT, WWE SUPERSTARS!!! IT’S THE THUMB OF DEATH!!!). (In an Austin Powers tone) That’s… about… it. The Samoan Bulldozer, my ass!!! Sheesh! Every time I see that stupid Umaga character, I’m thining, hey, I’m better off watching TNA’s Samoa Joe! Now, there’s a true Samoan bulldozer! It’s like this, you see: when EstRRada gets on the mic, I’m like YEAH! But the second that Umaga comes through the curtain, my energy level just dropped down into the Earth. I feel for Ric Flair. He had to job to this loser at Backlash.

Random Thought # 5: Women’s division heating up! It’s about time!

Who would’ve thought that WWE would invest time and talent in the fledging women’s division? Since Mickie James bounced her way into RAW, she has captured the Women’s Title and had a good feud with Trish Stratus. Now, as reported by wrestling news sites, WWE has signed several top indy women wrestlers, namely Beth Phoenix and UK’s Nikita. This just goes to show that the WWE has big plans for the women’s division. All this should put me at ease with the recurring IRONY of WWE putting women who shouldn’t be wrestling in matches while the women who should be wrestling is wasting her career as a valet. I’m talking about (my personal favorite) Lita. Well, at least she’s involved in main event storylines. But still, it’s bullshit! The likes of Torrie Wilson and Maria are wrestling while Lita is stuck in a “whore” character. It should be the other way around. But, then again, Lita has proven herself to be a women’s champion so what’s the point? This situation only proves that you can and should look at pro wrestling circumstances from various perspectives.

Random Thought # 6: I don’t have much Spirit for the Tag Team Division

What the F? As a special consideration, ALL FIVE members of the Spirit Squad are recognized as the World Tag Team Champions? Since when has that been allowed? Kenny and Mikey are technically the two tag champs who won the titles from Big Show and Kane. No disrespect to the Spirit Squad (I am a fan of their cheerleader gimmick), but this is pure bullshit. As if the tag team division isn’t garbage enough, now this comes along? For the nth time, the tag team division is, for now and probably will still be for a long time, purely shitted on. In recent memory, it is the easiest championship for a WWE wrestler to achieve. You can just tag with anybody and you’re all set! Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade won it once, then lost to Show and Kane, then the two spilt up. Bullshit! I hope that the WWE can get the tag team division back ti the heydays of the Dudleys, the Hardys, and Edge and Christian. Then Monday nights (Saturday nights here) and Friday nights (Sundays here) will be much more exciting to watch!

Random Thought # 7: May 19… Whatever…

Can this bit get any stupider? Kane snaps whenever someone says May 19 – the release date of his movie “See No Evil.” Now, I really think this one was done MAINLY TO PROMOTE his movie. How else can WWE promote it? From a marketing standpoint, it’s sheer genius. Having the audience remember that exact date will surely prompt the casual moviegoer to the box offices. But they exaggerated too much. I mean, they said that the May 19 angle will open another door to Kane’s character. Sure I’m all for that. But checking my calendar, May 19, 2006 doesn’t fall anywhere near a RAW show! It’s on a Saturday. How the hell will they explain that date on a RAW show when it’s way off the live Monday shows? I can’t even bear to watch Kane’s matches where a few minutes into it, the lights flicker and a deep voice would chime “May 19, May 19…” Please. They better think of something good or this one will be a stinker.

Random Thought # 8: The promo of the year! (so far)

Joey Styles blasted the mic in a recent RAW promo. He “quit” and spitted on Vince, the WWE, and pretty much everything else in between. His promo was, of course, a work/shoot one and I was glad that Creative allowed that to go on air. Sure, it was a prelude to an ECW angle but hey, it worked for me. That was, by far, the best promo of the year.

Random Thought # 9: ECW, Foley, Edge, and Rob Van Dam

Speaking of ECW, Mick Foley, the ultimate contemporary babyface, has turned heel and has aligned with his WM22 opponent, Edge! This seems a revival of his anti-hardcore character back in ECW. Well, this angle hasn’t developed that much, but it’s worth looking into, seeing that ECW will return in June for One Night Stand and a full-time show later in the year. EXTREEEME is back!

Random Thought # 10: On John Cena again…

Well, the boos are still there, but so are the sporadic cheers for the WWE champ, John Cena. I’m not complaining about his character knowing that D-X’s return will obviously revitalize his staleness. Oh yeah, Cena’s character may be a dud on TV, but his webshow, 5 Questions with The Champ, on wwe.com is a hoot. His kickass personality from 2003-mid-2005 is somewhat alive in that weekly webshow. His humor, which is rarely seen on TV, is very much evident and watching that webshow came as something for me to look forward to nowadays.

Well, that’s all for now. I’ll be back (hopefully) next week for my roots and roads/IWC piece. WHOOO!!!