ANALOGY ---> Smackdown! : Great Khali and Mark Henry ; RAW : HBK and HHH

RAW Superstars like Triple H (above) and Shawn Michaels make up what is arguably one of pro-wrestling greatest factions, the DeGeneration-X. SmackDown!, on the other hand, is without Kurt Angle & the late Eddie Guerrero and is constantly flooded by "overpushed pigs" like Mark Henry and The Great Khali. No wonder SmackDown! is the B-Show of the WWE.

P.O.L.I.T.I.K.O.
by Jeff Ty

Smackdown!, May 2, 2006
US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio

The analogy speaks volumes of how RAW is an "A-show", while Smackdown is a "B-show".

After witnessing two very OVERPUSHED pigs in The Great Khali and Mark Henry this past Sunday on WWE Smackdown!, I literally prayed for somebody named Eddie Guerrero to resurrect himself and slap some sense into Smackdown! I also hoped for the animal named Batista to recuperate immediately, whom by the way was sidelined by the careless hands of the big oaf named Mark Henry. I wished that the Undertaker could return full-time and immerse himself into the storylines more, not just scaring everybody with gongs and eerie music and visual effects. I could forgive Randy Orton for his recent actions just to get rid of certain undeserving superstars. I tried to remind myself that this "World Strongest Man" was also the stupid and risky dumbo that put the unreplaceable Kurt Angle out of commission for two Smackdown! episodes. I also noticed that household names such as Chris Benoit and Booker T are nowhere near main-event status. Furthermore, upcoming stars such as Lashley, MNM, and Paul Burchill, despite overwhelming positive reactions from the audience, are still mere spectators to the very, very UNNERVING sight of the two OVERPUSHED pigs getting what they want, whenever they want to.

And don't get me started with the current World Heavyweight Champion. Please.

If only Rey Mysterio has these kinds of bona fide rivals such as Kurt Angle, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Randy Orton, or even Booker T, then it is logical to have him as World Champion. But WWE, for all its smarts, decided for the Champ to feud with the "Wrestling God". JBL is a proven former champion that didn't fold even once in his 10-month reign as WWE Champion. His glory days are over, and yet here he is again. Although I favor his mic skills and like him a notch over Rey Mysterio himself or Booker T, he should give way to others. Also on this episode, I saw another tag team of OVERPUSHED pigs in the Gymini. So what, winning over Scotty and Funaki? What is the point here? I didn't get to see Paul Burchill and MNM. Damn it. What the hell is happening?

Now, seeing him destroyed by Mark Henry just makes me sick. After injuring Batista and Kurt Angle, WWE had still the guts to send him to work with an already injured Rey Mysterio. Why not Booker T, a heel also? Who is this Mark Henry by the way? At Wrestlemania 22, he was the only wrestler that was greeted by complete silence in his entrance from the ironically flamboyant Chicago crowd. Nobody had even the willingness to boo him, and when his match had dragged on, out of sheer disgust, "Henry Sucks" chants were shouted. It was not out of routine, but just a sign of complete turn-off from the fans. In the grandest stage of them all, he went for a cover or a pin on the Undertaker in a Casket Match. This is just bulls***. Enough of the former "Sexual Chocolate".

After his idiotic stint at Wrestlemania 22, WWE brought in which I believe is a far worse wrestler. The Great Khali. When offered the microphone, damn, even my pet cat can talk clearer than this senseless wall. What the hell is WWE offering the fans? I won't go on to discuss The Great Khali because he just pisses me off everytime I see him.

On this period when the signs on RAW all point to the much-awaited D-X, which perhaps is the greatest faction/stable of all-time, people like the Great Khali and Mark Henry pollute the legacy of Smackdown!.

Sad, but true.

MALE CHEERLEADERS: Missing ingredients in Monday Night RAW?

Do Monday nights really need a little "Spirit" uplifting?

P.O.L.I.T.I.K.O.
By Jeff Ty

The recent developments on Monday Night RAW have not been very pretty, with Cena’s lingering mixed reactions and the blasphemous angles by the McMahons that earned a censor from our very own JACK TV as concrete examples. Of course, there are still superstars who continue to give the fans what they want, like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Shelton Benjamin, Carlito, Chris Masters, Mickie James and Ric Flair. Then there is Edge, which despite being forced to short live his WWE Championship title reign, has been simply very solid and impressive as a top heel on RAW. It is a contrast to the newcomer Umaga, which is just a repackaged Jamal from 3 Minute Warning. Some of us know what happened to Jamal and his ex-partner Rosey after the gimmick died away fast. Jamal suddenly disappeared, while the latter became S.H.I.T., or Super Hero In Training. That’s okay, Rosey still a lower-card wrestler even though he was repackaged. For his equally huge counterpart, Jamal or Umaga was recently seen pinning a 16-time world champion at Backlash in Lexington, Kentucky, USA.

Jesus. The “Naitch”, Ric Flair, pinned by Jamal, or “Morning”/Umaga?

For that, I could still take that as a grain of salt. After all, WWE had Mark Henry in the main event of Royal Rumble this year. Or some guy named Gunner Scott pinning a five-time WCW Champion on Smackdown just few weeks ago.

Even though the fans would just groan and let these slip away, somehow we just have to think of the other WWE superstars that already paid their dues and are in dire need of showing their true mettle in a major angle, not just as a filler wrestler or a jobber. Rob Conway. Trevor Murdoch. Paul Burchill. Psicosis. Super Crazy. Sylvan. And for those superstars who thought they have had it, like Carlito, Chris Masters, Lashley, and MNM, they would only find out that the next big thing is not either one of them.

The Spirit Squad, composed of 5 male cheerleaders. I had tried to neglect their names, but their annoying entrance pains me to remember some of them: Nicky, Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, and …? Wow, that’s good, 4 out of 5. On their debut, I thought that their presence was just a waste of time getting into my nerves and others’ nerves as well. Wrestlers are supposed to be tough, but some smart aleck backstage thinks that executing stupid cheers about worthless things would take these clowns to the next level. I really feel for Lilian Garcia, while announcing the guidelines for the Royal Rumble match proper, the Spirit Squad interrupted, came uninvited, and deliberately sucked the excitement and life out of Miami fans for the Royal Rumble match. Fortunately, Triple H’s entrance restored some much-needed order in the arena that night. When you make your debut on a pay-per-view, a major one at that, you would right away know the true reactions of the fans towards your character. At Wrestlemania 22, the Chicago fans let the WWE know that John Cena absolutely sucks. The Miami fans at the Royal Rumble were caught off-guard by these idiots and fell dead silent. “What the hell is going on”, I could feel someone asking while I watched the cheerleaders pollute a tradition known as the Royal Rumble. If you have to get some heel heat, do it in a more conventional way, for Pete’s sake. I honestly believe that WWE programming is no joke. Really.

Just hours removed from the first May edition of RAW, they were named co-General Managers. Okay, so what, they “helped” the McMahons win at Backlash. Then as I read along the RAW results, they personally had controlled RAW as co-GMs. First, they made a Diva Tag Team Cheerleader Match. In this one, they had two of the best female wrestlers in Mickie James and Victoria losing to eye candies Maria and Torrie Wilson. They had the guts to manipulate Shawn Michaels and Kane. If that wasn’t enough, they also manipulated Triple H and Edge. What? The last straw –

A Spirit Squad member challenging Cena for the WWE Championship. If you have monitored champions and challengers for this very prestigious title, their names wouldn’t raise eyebrows, with the exceptions of Mr. McMahon and Eric Bischoff, but please, they are there because it is in the storylines. Now, they have an ordinary novice wrestler having a shot at the WWE Championship.

That’s right, the WWE Championship.

I will tune in to next week’s RAW and decide if the Spirit Squad is really the missing ingredient or the lost piece of jigsaw puzzle that would make Monday Night RAW great again since the Attitude Era.

R.I.P. Eddie? Not Yet.

You can credit Eddie for Rey's main-event push, but I have my doubts with Rey as a world champion

THE PRO-WRESTLING DRIVER SEAT
By Hub Pacheco

(This column was originally published in http//:nikonboy.livejournal.com on 6 Feb. 2006 and now republished here for better referencing and for keeping the subject more up-to-date. Also, I've added a follow up entry at the last paragraph to assess how the subject has developed.)

Eddie Guerrero was a great man. He was a proud champion. He was arguably SmackDown’s main draw. When he passed away on November of 2005, we were caught off guard. Fans all over the world were in tears. The whole IWC paid their due respects in various columns. WWE management too as they held a tribute show for Eddie in Minneapolis. Selected superstars spoke in very emotional video messages. Everyone was out of character, including the heels, in respect for Eddie. Eddie was rightfully honored on that day. And that should’ve been the end of it.

The succeeding Raws and SmackDowns were still understandably in a state of mourning. Fans chanted for Eddie when either Chavo, Rey Mysterio, or Batista showed up. EG armbands were still wrapped around Rey’s biceps. I can understand the love. I can understand the Eddie chants. I can understand superstars imitating his shoulder shake dance and trademark moves. What I don’t understand is why Vince Almighty keeps on injecting Eddie in storyline promos.

During a Smackdown episode after Survivor Series 2005 (It was called a Smackdown Special), The main event was Rey Mysterio vs. The Big Show. Rey came out in a lowrider in respect to Eddie. Fine. Sure. That was nice. During the match, Big Show’s tag team partner, Kane interfered. Makes sense. All right. Then, Undertaker came in to help Rey. Really made sense because Kane is Taker’s brother. Finally, Randy Orton bursted in. Nice booking here because they were continuing the feud. The scene left Orton and Taker hammering each other. They made their way to the lowrider where Orton drove it (with Taker inside) straight into the SmackDown entrance (the one with the big clenched fist), causing it to explode in a fiery rage. Now, normally I would say, COOL! Nice effects! But need I remind them that it was a lowrider that they blew up? It was a straight out disrespect for Eddie. Rumor has it backstage that a superstar had the choice of backing out of certain promos if they feel it is too much. All they had to do was sat “no.”

All right, Vinnie. You had your ratings. Let’s move on. What? You’re not done yet?

During this year’s Royal Rumble (SPOILER WARNING! STOP READING IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED OF THE RESULTS), after Rey picked his number (number 2 entrant), he joked that Eddie must’ve played a joke on him. Rey dedicated the Rumble match to Eddie. Hrmm, a bit weird but okay. A little mention of Eddie here and there wouldn’t hurt.

Rey went on and won the Rumble match. On to RAW and SmackDown.

On the Raw following the Rumble, Triple H cut a promo where he said that if he can’t take out his frustration (of not winning the Rumble) on Rey Msyterio and Eddie Guerrero, Chave Guerrero might as well take the hit. They had a match where Trips won. Hrmm, going a bit too far there.

On the SmackDown following the Rumble, Randy Orton also cut a promo where he insulted Rey and his win at the Rumble, saying that Eddie is not in resting in heaven but he’s in hell. Hold on there. Now, that’s crossing the line.

What the hell is wrong with Vince? Why do they keep on mentioning, no, insulting, the legacy of Eddie through stupid promos. Sure, they want to get some heel heat but come on, the guy’s dead. Leave him be. Linda Robin said, and I agree, that superstars can imitate his moves, look up to the heavens, and wear EG armbands and all, but that should be the end of it

Vince wants controversy. That’s how the WWE has been able to survive all these years, through adapting to their audience and shocking them. The WWE’s newest slogan is The Power is Back! Well, if they think that disrespecting Eddie through this means that some remnants of the Attitude era (where anything and everything can happen) is back, they’re dead wrong.

Here’s a thought: What if WWE Creative kept on using Vince to push storylines after he’s dead? What would Vince feel? Being the biggest a**h*le that he is, I think he’d like that very much.

Sometimes, I think that Vince is the shrewdest businessman out there and at the same time the most insensitive businessman (Hence, the A**H*LE chants). Vince has sunk so low this time it just makes me sick to my stomach. Keep Eddie out of your shit. He’s not working for the WWE anymore (his image and copyright may still be).

When Davey Boy Smith passed away, they held tributes. And that was it. End of the story.

When Curt Hennig passed away, they held tributes. And that was it. End of the story.

When Road Warrior Hawk passed away, they held tributes. And that was it. End of the story.

When Brian Pillman passed away, they held tributes. And that was it. End of the story.

When Owen Hart passed away, they held tributes. And that was it. End of the story.

Have I made my point?

I wrote that one when WWE was at the height of the Rey "doin' it for Eddie" angle. After WM22, let's see what the consequences are of Rey's main event push.

Rey Mysterio is now the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION as predicted by his Royal Rumble win. Now, I don’t mean any disrespect to Mysterio, but he doesn’t have the look of a champion. Frankly, he really deserved it after all his years in the WWE. He had a couple of teases of main event title pushes, but up until the 2006 Rumble, or up until Eddie Guerrero’s demise, he was abything but a main-eventer. All right, with that being said, Mysterio as a WORLD champion doesn’t sit well with me. He doesn’t feel like a champion for me. Maybe I feel this way because of the way (or storyline) of how he came to the top. By using Guerrero’s death as a reason for a main event run, Mysterio really is a “charity case” (quoted from Randy Orton’s promo and I feel that it is really true). I mean, we’ve heard the (slight) BOOS from the crowd when he came out as champion. It seems to me that some fans feel the same way as I do. Mysterio’s mic work isn’t that good. Lines like “this is for you, Eddie” or “believe in the size of my heart” are just too CHEESY for me to buy it. Fine, you had a good WM moment when Vickie Guerrero, Eddie's widow, and Cahave Guerrero came out after Rey had won the ttile. But the big picyure still remains quesionable. His in-ring charisma isn’t too hot either. I mean, besides the unreal wrestling moves, there’s nothing much to watch out for. To keep it simple, his main event push is a fact of circumstance. Imagine if Eddie hadn’t passed away, it could’ve been Orton-Guerrero at WM22.

For me, I would’ve sat well with Orton winning or Kurt Angle retaining at WM22. (But Orton has his backstage issues that led to an indefinite suspension and Angle being injured by Mark Henry weeks later at a SD! Taping, it went well, technically.) Add the fact that the match itself was a bit too short for me to feel that Mysterio really earned the title. He also goofed BIG TIME during the match. He slipped while trying to maneuver a 619 off the ring posts. I mean, you can’t goof at the match where you’re booked to win it all.

Ah, but here’s when WWE booking comes in to save the day. As reported in various prowrestling news sites, RVD is scheduled to cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase in the next ECW One Night Stand this June. And he needs a good heel to feud with. I speculated earlier that John Cena would do good to turn heel at the ECW PPV, but as it turns out, WWE is booking RVD to challenge for SmackDown’s WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE. Rey vs. RVD? Two former ECW standouts going at it? Two faces fighting? No. With Judgment Day coming up, Rey is scheduled to drop the title to JBL, thus giving the ECV PPV a good main event feud with JBL vs. RVD. Remember that aside from Angle, JBL is the other top heel who opposed the ECW brand at last year’s One Night Stand. It seems like Mysterio won’t be champ for too long, unlike someone we know from the other brand.

But, in fairness to Mysterio, from a perspective of being with the company for so long, he really deserved the title.