SMACKDOWN, PLEASE. GIMME A BREAK.

THE DRIVER SEAT
by Hub Pacheco

Well, I'm back and I'm still scavenging for time to write the recap to last Month's WWE SmackDown Tour here in the Philippines. Yes it was a great two days but somehow I never got around to writing the recap. Maybe it was because my enthusiasm to write about it went out the window the moment that cameras were supposedly "banned" from the event. F--- that, I saw a guy inside the building with a Nikon D2x! (a pro camera) Well, I got some good shots OUTSIDE the arena of some superstars whom I unexpectedly came across. That story will saved when I write about the tour, which probably won't have any bearing as it has been over a month now since the event. Nonetheless, I will get around to it, eventually. I hope. Now, onto the main course!

This edition of the Driver Seat is dedicated to some random thoughts on WWE SmackDown! You know the drill, folks. I write it short but sweet. So here it goes.

PUTTING OUT THE FIRE BEFORE IT EVEN STARTS

You might have noticed the teensy tension that Brian Kendrick is developing on Paul London. You know, on last week's SD!, when Kendrick came out to help London against William Regal. Then Ashley bumped into Kendrick. Yadayada. Ashley comes to the aid of London instead of minding Kendrick. Then you got that little look of disappointment/jealousy on Kendrick's face afterwards. This week, same shit again as Kendrick got distracted when it was his turn versus Regal. COME ON! I (and every other WWE fan) know where this is going to lead to! Kendrick starts to hate London. They fight, implode and lose the tag titles, whichever comes first. Is it just me or is the lifespan of a tag team only less than a year? I thought London and Kendrick was supposed to be in a program with Idol Stevens and KC James? Well, The Pitbulls are out so Jamie Noble is back to being a generic jobber. Damn, I wish Noble had it better. He's a great wrestler. Anyway, back to the lameass implosion angle. Well, I hope that in their "storied and touching" feud to come, they'll at least put on a great match or two.

(IN THE TONE AND PRONOUNCIATION OF THE STEREOTYPICAL AFRICAN-AMERICAN) VICKIE, PLEASE!

I've really wanted tp talk about this bit ever since it started. WHAT THE HELL IS VICKIE GUERRERO DOING IN WWE? COME ON! Her supposed character doesn't fit her AT ALL. Turning heel on Rey Mysterio and doing all that heel crap. She doesn't give me any heel heat. She just makes me wanna turn away from my TV every time I see her on SD! It's true. I'm disgusted. Now, you may argue that maybe it was Mrs. Guerrero's decision to be a WWE talent. What, she can't support her family so she's going out there every week and making a fool out of herself? All right, maybe she does want to supprot her family by doing that. Buy by doing that, the image that I saw of her in Eddie's DVD story and in her Wrestlemania 22 appearance just went away for me. Can't she find something better to do? Why not start a foundation in Eddie's name? Or something along the lines of normalcy. Sorry for the harshness but really, she doesn't belong in the WWE. Leave all the heel heat to Chavo and stay out of the picture. Noted IWC columnist Linda Robin said that we should give Vickie a chance. While I highly respect Mrs. Robin's opinions, I say, please. Gimme a break.


Well, that's about it for now. There are a lot of positive things to be said about SmackDown! but the real fun is in talking about things that pisses me (and most WWE fans, I assume) the most. I mean, if it's great, why sprinkle it with more praises? Yeah I should but like I said, the real fun is in the stuff that leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
I'll be watching Survivor Series tonight and I'm looking forward to a great show. (The only advantage Filipino WWE fans have over US fans is that we get to watch PPVs in cinemas for USD6.00! US fans have to shell out around USD35-40 for their PPVs. So to JackTV, thank you. But f--- you for those tickets last October.) Although the formation of teams for the classic Survivor Series match is obvioulsy rushed. Hell, there wasn't even an angle. It was like WWE management played chess with the three brands' rosters. Anyway, to hell with angles. I'm fed up with some on SmackDown!, so I'll just leave it at that.

MAKING A STATEMENT

P.O.L.I.T.I.K.O.
by Jeff Ty

In the past week, I was intrigued by numerous news and details about the "major announcement" which would be made at the end of No Surrender. It is funny that I even care, at least on a slightest note, about TNA. You know, before they moved to Universal Studios in Orlando, they were always confined in Nashville, Tennessee or at times; Huntsville, Alabama and other random places. Basically, they are not even a national wrestling promotion. However, similar to the 90's ECW, TNA has its own persona in the form of a six-sided ring (which makes for more action-packed wrestling), excellent and suave wrestlers in Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, etc., and despite its regional nature, its television coverage is international. Hell, local channel ABC 5 and Star Sports televise TNA on a weekly basis. Wanna watch? I don't even have the slightest idea when to watch, and if I do, it is because I randomly turn to ABC or Star Sports.

What now, compare TNA to WWE? The pyrotechnics, entrance musics, arena set-up, and a god-like and invincible Chairman and owner are just enough reasons why TNA is always an afterthought when we talk of the World Wrestling Entertainment.

MAKING A STATEMENT: TNA is a complete waste of time, at least for me. Honestly said. A confession.

For the first time in my life, the once-"afterthought" Total Nonstop Action or TNA got my full attention. Hell, it got the whole worldwide wrestling community's attention.

And based on some Internet reports, TNA wrestlers and staff themselves didn't even know of the "major announcement". They were just reduced to ordinary wrestling fans, just like you and me. Why? Is this something not worth revealing until the last moments? After all, it is only TNA. If WWE has already a hard time surprising wrestling fans, what more if an "afterthought" like TNA decide to gamble and put its reputation at risk by relying on a "major announcement"?

As I and the rest of the wrestling community, wrestlers and fans alike, wait for that announcement, I could hear everyone say: "This better be good".

MAKING A STATEMENT: TNA is taking the next step to promotional success, through - KURT ANGLE.

KURT ANGLE.

KURT ANGLE.

A five-time WWE Champion, Intercontinental Champion, European Champion, Hardcore Champion, multiple-time Tag Team Champion, 2000 King of the Ring, and numerous PPV main-events, one of which is the classic Wrestlemania 19 match with Brock Lesnar. An Olympic gold medalist.

He can perfectly work as a face or a heel. He can even play a general manager. He is a suplex, submission mat wrestler with an attitude and charisma that combines the different worlds of amateur and professional wrestling. He symbolizes America. Most of all, he is one the rare wrestlers who gets the "ooh" crowd reaction everytime he makes his entrance to the ring because of his credibility and achievements. Others are Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Kane, and the Undertaker, to name a few.

Simply put, he puts "asses in seats". He is a "marketing gem". Many of the WWE T-shirts have been based on his character, tag lines such as "America Needs A Hero", "Freedom of Choice: Tap Out or Angle Slam", "From This Angle You Suck", etc. His entrance pyrotechnics is one of the most explosive in the WWE. We can only count on our fingers how many his eyesore matches in the WWE were. When he won his fifth WWE Championship (or World Heavyweight Championship), he earned the monicker "Wrestling Machine".

A "wrestling machine". A generic monicker, yet a magnified one when describing Kurt Angle.

Given these credentials, Kurt Angle still wasn't happy in WWE. His quick rise to the WWE pinnacle has a price after all. In his first year in WWE, he already won the three major WWE titles (WWE, IC, European C'ships). In the subsequent years, he was always mentioned in main-event or upper card circles. He was usually featured in big storylines, even without a title on the line. He seemingly got what he wanted, or he could always try to get what he wanted. But as we all know, injuries sometimes stall careers. In 2003, Angle suffered numerous injuries. Yet he still continued to wrestle despite his deteriorating health. Until this year, when his injuries were already very alarming, causing WWE to ship him to ECW, billing him as its "new face". At first, from my viewpoint, I thought that Angle had no problem with it because he would be an automatic main-event mainstay. On an Internet report, however, WWE wanted him there because of Angle's need to rest and nurse his injuries. After Vengeance, he missed a significant amount of ring time, but when he decided to come back, it was apparently against WWE management's will. As he was used to getting what he wanted, he stubbornly returned, only to miss his Summerslam appearance because of aggravated injuries. That was the last time I heard of Kurt Angle. Days later, he and WWE agreed to part ways. I could say that Angle decided to go because he had lost his footing and stroke in backstage politics. But Angle could always come back when he is finally physically and mentally 100 percent. I had expected him to return soon, a la Shawn Michaels who left for 4 years (1998-2002). Speaking of HBK, we all remmeber his match with Kurt Angle at Wrestlemania 21. Now, these two amazing superstars are going on different directions, one recollecting his glorious past and further solidifying his legacy, while the other is contemplating on his questionable future and is on the verge of making or unmaking his career.

Perhaps the "dream match-up" between Michaels and Angle was a foreshadowing of the return of D-Generation X and "the major announcement". I don't really know, only theorizing.

After Angle had been released, Internet wrestling columnists expressed their respect and admiration for Angle's legacy and contributions in wrestling. It could be said that they all expect Angle to make some sort of a major comeback in the near future. WWE made Kurt Angle as Kurt Angle that we know, so it is unthinkable for Angle to even think about going to other wrestling promotions. So bye bye Angle, at least until TNA's September PPV, No Surrender.

TNA's major announcement was its signing of Kurt Angle. I was stunned. Well, sort of. If he wasn't happy from his last days in WWE, he could consider TNA, right? That was the same pattern Christian Cage followed in his journey to TNA stardom. But Kurt Angle? How could he fit in the TNA locker room? Moreover, what would his TNA colleagues say? Why? I thought that Angle was always welcome in WWE.

What does he really want? I mean, he has nothing left to prove, doesn't he? Damn, Angle thought of TNA, while I "after-thought" it. What would he gain by joining TNA? As for TNA, does it think that it has accomplished a highway robbery? Angle would never be 100 percent anymore, and that is why WWE decided to let him go in the first place. Angle was in fact a liability rather than an asset for much of the last months, and TNA now grabbed him like a fish out of the water.

I only wish that Angle won't make the same mistake as Michael Jordan did, when His Airness "retired" from NBA, a major basketball league, to only end up playing in a minor league baseball team, in hopes of joining a major league baseball team. We know that his baseball career was a failure and he ended up winning another "three-peat" with the Chicago Bulls. Will WWE embrace Kurt Angle again should he decide to return, much like Chicago?

If Kurt Angle is making a statement, I hope that he got his message across everyone loud and clear.

MAKING A STATEMENT: I don't know what Kurt Angle is doing with his career, and life. And I don't wanna know, because it would only make me sick and utterly disappointed.

ALL HAIL KING BOO-KHEAH!

After years of bouncing around the midcards and (only) filling up main events, King Booker is once again at the top of the mountain. I've been a fan of Booker T since his WCW days and to see him as world champion for the first time in his WWE tenure, it's a great feeling. I may not like him being a heel world champ, but hey, since his face character's not going anywhere, the King of the World is tops on my list. His silly-as-hell grin (or his whole royal face, actually), his forced royal British accent ("I'm King Boo-kheah!"), and his twirling around in the middle of the ring is just too much for me too handle! King Booker is hilarious!

I'd like to believe that - after Booker won the title from Rey Mysterio weeks ago at the Great American Bash - Booker's tears were for real and not just for show. You know, the usual sobfest moment when a wrestler wins a big time championship. I'd like to believe that Booker really felt that good winning his SIXTH world title after being significantly de-pushed after he supposedly botched up his match with Triple H at Wrestlemania 19 three years ago. He really deserves to be world champion. It's been so long since his last run but (as cheesy and Cena-like as this sounds) his time is now.

Now, let the reign of King Boo-kheah begin!

SIN SEATS

PRO-WRESTLING DRIVER SEAT
by Hub Pacheco

“Wala na talaga, miss?”

“Yung buong sections na yun?”

“Wala na, sir. Kinuha na ng promoters yung apat na sections na ‘yun,” (see above photo for reference) said the friendly Araneta Coliseum clerk. I stood there, frozen for a minute, which seemed like an eternity, then hesitantly took the Php 5k seat next to one of the sections that the promoter took.

While I’m still contemplating my decision on the seat that I bought for the WWE SmackDown! Survivor Series Tour on October 21 (and 22? Not yet sure so far) this year, I reflected on what the Araneta clerk told me. I was originally planning to buy a PT106 patron b seat (worth Php3700+) but I was stopped in my tracks by the promoter who hoarded over 200+ seats! Now, I would understand them hoarding the ringside seats which cost Php 10k each. THAT I can understand. But hoarding four main sections? That’s bullshit. What makes these sections so special? I dunno for the promoter but for me when you sit from those sections, you’re like watching WWE from a straight TV camera view. And those seats were the best seats for my budget. You’re close enough to the action and it’s “affordable.”

But they were gone. Just like that. This may sound whiny in my part but it’s very much true: It’s not fair. It’s bad enough that the ringside seats cost Php 10k, now they hoarded the affordable good seats? People who have connections with the promoter, of course, still have to pay for those hoarded seats. Connections are to an extent are literally connections. If you can’t pay up, you won’t get that seat. Unless you’re treated to that seat then it’s another story. I’m not gonna take away the fact that those people paid for those hoarded seats. You have connections, while I and a host of others don’t. You never worked for your tickets while I and thousands of other people frantically called up ticketnet or went to Araneta at 6:30 AM in the morning and waited for hours until the ticket booth opened. A lot of people deserved those seats more than you. But I will tell you this: come October 21, me and a lot of people who will sit in PT 105, 108, 109, 110, 111, 114, 115 will, in their minds, boo you out of Araneta. At least that’s what I think. Nonetheless, on October 21, you people who will be sitting on hoarded seats will have my ever-erupting ire from the moment “Rise Up” plays until the WWE crew takes the ring down. You’re sitting on sin seats, you jerks. No, you’re sitting on MY and a lot of other people’s seats. I hope you’re happy.

Oh yes. I almost forgot. As a final note to the promoters: Thank you for bringing WWE RAW and SmackDown! here in the Philippines. I really appreciate it. And as for hoarding those sections, I only have two words for ya. No, not the famous DX line. It’s more along the lines of…

F--- YOU.

John Cena or Randy Orton? John Cena or Brock Lesnar?

Cena: still very professional despite the jeers by some fans.

photo by Hub Pacheco

P.O.L.I.T.I.K.O.
by Jeff Ty

For John Cena haters out there, consider this:

Young superstars, when pushed ahead of their contemporaries, sometimes swallow in their own poison. The perfect and classic example would be my childhood favorie The Ultimate Warrior. However, upon knowing of his unprofessional behavior that led to his downfall or "self-destruction", I was turned off by him. I don't believe that I admired a selfish egomaniac, but that showed us the risk of overpushing a promising but risky young wrestler. Here are other 2 examples.

Brock Lesnar: He was only 24 when he beat THE ROCK, yes, The People's Champion to win his first WWE Championship. Before that, he was crowned 2002 King of the Ring. His championship reign was solidified by his Hell In A Cell match against THE UNDERTAKER, yes, The Dead Man does job! Then he also won another WWE tradition, eliminating The Undertaker last to win the 2003 Royal Rumble. Then he went on to main event Wrestlemania 19, where he beat KURT ANGLE, yes, the Olympic Champion, for his second WWE Championship. In Septmeber 2003, Kurt Angle again jobbed to him in a grueling 60-minute Iron Man match where Lesnar won his third and final WWE Championship. But after he lost to Eddie Guerrero at No Way Out 2004, he disgraced himself in front of WWE fans at Wrestlemania 20, flashing a dirty finger to them.

Damn, I didn't even include those countless WWE superstars who jobbed to push this ungrateful Minneapolis native. He complained about the hectic schedule of the WWE, but that is how things are. If the Ultimate Warrior was only unpopular among co-wrestlers and WWE officials but not with wrestling fans, Brock Lesnar was infamous everywhere in the wrestling world, whether it be fans or co-wrestlers.


Randy Orton: Although not as grave as Brock Lesnar, he is also a contemporary example of young and promising wrestlers that were given the opportunity to follow the footsteps of greats like Stone Cold and The Rock. He was included in the Elimination Chamber at Summerslam 2003. A month later, he recorded a pinfall over SHAWN MICHAELS, yes, the Heartbreak Kid via Ric Flair's antics at Unforgiven 2003. At Survivor Series 2003, he led Team Bischoff to victory over Team Austin, scoring the deciding pinfall over Shawn Michaels again. A month later, at Armageddon 2003, he beat RVD for the Intercontinental Title, his first championship. At Wrestlemania 20, he willed Evolution (Ric Flair, Batista, and him) to a win over the fabled ROCK N' SOCK CONNECTION, yes, Mick Foley and The Rock. A month later, at Backlash 2004, a hardcore legend and a future Hall of Famer in Mick Foley jobbed to him in a Hardcore Match. And heaven forbid, at Summerslam 2004, he became the youngest WWE Champion of all-time, beating CHRIS BENOIT, yes, the Rabid Wolverine. At Survivor Series 2004, he again scored the deciding pinfall in the Classic Survivor Series match. At New Year's Revolution 2005, he was the last wrestler to be pinned. However, unlike Brock Lesnar, he did lost some key matches, like Unforgiven 2004 to Triple H and Wrestlemania 21 to Undertaker. During the 2nd half of 2005, everybody knew that he was in for a big push this year, 2006, so it was a given that he would become champion at Wrestlemania 22. For some reason, Rey Mysterio instead pinned him, who in the first place is an experienced veteran who had gone through many obstacles during his years in WCW, ECW, Japan, Mexico, other U.S. "indy" wrestling organizations, etc.

For those very women who blush and/or shriek at the sight of the handsome Randy Orton, reports of him being unprofessional with female co-wrestlers began spreading on the Internet, which many believed was the reason why WWE chose to suspend him indefinitely since April. Apparently, one could infer that his constant pushes began to increase his ego. This has been really very embarassing for Randy Orton, who as of press time, is still suspended.


And John Cena? Please, not only he is a marketing gem and symbolic representative for the WWE, he is also a very professional wrestler and person who knows how to deal with those fans who don't give him some serious shit. He is a bit overpushed, but he knows how to handle the pressure, unlike the Ultimate Warrior, Brock Lesnar, and Randy Orton. John Cena, without a shadow of a doubt, has exceeded expectations much like LeBron James in the NBA. It is only fitting to say that in years' time, he would be the next Stone Cold or The Rock that we are longing for nowadays. Here is an illustration to summarize:

Brock Lesnar and Randy Orton < JOHN CENA < The Rock and Stone Cold

ALL WWE RAW LIVE TOUR PHOTOS ARE NOW UPLOADED!

It took me months to process the 370 frames I shot on Feb. 25, 2006, but I did it. Complete photos from WWE RAW Live Tour in Manila, 25 February 2006 @ the Araneta Coliseum are here.

Enjoy.

-Hub Pacheco

Random RAW Thoughts

RAW's Carlito is definitely COOL.

THE PRO-WRESTLING DRIVER SEAT
By Hub Pacheco

Things slowed down for me over the last few weeks that I haven’t found anything to talk about, though I am working on a piece that made me think of my pro-wrestling viewing roots (much like Mr. Ty did before).

That being said, I now revert to a writing technique that I use to avoid the well-thought-out, well-laid-out structures of essay writing – random thoughts. My newswriting teacher might shudder if she knew about this, but hey, it’s summer! The brilliant, well-structured essays are reserved for the upcoming semester.

RAW has been much of a pleasure to watch over the last few months, mainly because it is the A-show, the flagship brand that has carried the company since the 1990s. It was so good that I had to beg off from my leisure trips on Saturday nights. I had to be home before or exactly 6PM for me not to miss a single minute of RAW. This is the complete opposite of SmackDown!, where I usually take my time from going home on Sunday nights. I feel that I won’t miss much of anything even if I missed the whole show. Replays a few days later would suffice. The B-show just isn’t sitting too well for me these days. (Read previous post by Jeff Ty for the reasons). Another reason for RAW’s success is the resurgence of interest to old favorites like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, and Vince McMahon. Okay, like I said, this piece is gonna be ugly, so here goes:

Random Thought # 1: Carlito is definitely COOL!

On SmackDown! years ago, Carlito was just this annoying Alfalfa-haired goofball running his mouth, dragging along big bodyguards like Jesus and Matt Morgan. His SmackDown! highlights include his interference during WrestleMania 21’s Piper Pit and winning the US title from then-US champ John Cena in his debut match on the show. What is with WWE booking debut championship wins? Gail Kim did it in her debut to win RAW’s Women’s title a couple of years back and Carlito would again win in his debut match on RAW, snatching the Intercontinental championship from Shelton Benjamin.

From the moment Carlito arrived on RAW, he became so over with the fans. I don’t know. He’s the complete package – great mic skills, humorous antics, kooky appearance that’s sure to stick in your mind, and, of course, great innovative wrestling skills. What a COOL backbreaker move! I remember the people who cheered him on when he came to Araneta Coliseum for the RAW live tour last February. His T-shirt was the first one to be sold out.

Carlito is supposed to be playing the heel in his feud with Chris Masters. But for some reason, he’s the babyface? Wha? I don’t get it. Logically, it was Carlito who screwed over Masters a number of times prior to their mini-feud. I guess this would be a good example of fan-based booking. Fans love him, so he’s kind of like Triple H right now, a tweener. Is he supposed to be a face or a heel?

I can say this much – I am very confident about Carlito’s WWE career. He’ll have a good five-ten year run at the rate he’s at. He’ll make for a good main-eventer in the future.

Random Thought # 2: Shelton’s still kicking!

Remember when I said that a Shelton-Charlie Haas feud would rake in big hits? Well, It’s in the works! Thank God! Now, the only problem here is Haas’ mic work. Since coming to RAW, he’s had no mic time. And for his program with Shelton to work, Haas has (a little unintentional tongue twister there) to rebuild a solid foundation for his character. And now that Shelton regained his IC title, there’s automatically a good foundation already set up for their feud. This should be a good one, folks.

Random Thought # 3: I got two words for ya, (not yet!)

How could WWE have planned this out so well? Pure coincidence? SUr e looks like it. It seems that Cena’s win over HHH at WM22 is the precursor to the reformation of the craziest group known to pro-wrestling: the Degeneration-X! Think about it. Had HHH won at WM22, Cena’s career would crash as fast as a virus-infected PC! By having HHH lose to Cena at WM22 & at Backlash, and SIMULTANEOUSLY ending a feud with HBK also at Backlash, Vince can now revert to a turn from Triple H to reform D-X. Given the recent programs with one another, Vince can align with Cena (a heel turn here) and/or Edge while HHH can realign with HHH for D-X. The Vengeance PPV is the scheduled return of D-X and I couldn’t have planned it better.

Both HHH and HBK don’t need this kind of push at this point in their careers, they’re pretty much established as far as ten title reigns and first grand slam title wins are concerned. But they need to do all that crazy D-X shit that made them famous in the late 1990s for their young counterparts (Cena and Edge, to name a few) to become more established main-eventers, since they can’t seem to do it on their own so far.

Random Thought # 4: Arrrmando Alejandro EstRRRada, YEA! Umaga, BOO!

“Haha!” So goes EstRRRada’s trademark laugh. Barely three months on RAW, I have quickly caught on with his thick victory cigars, his accent and his micwork. Since Daivari jumped ship to SmackDown!, RAW has been without a noisy-ass manager. But here’s the difference. Daivari used to managed (used to, sadly) Muhammad Hassan (who I believe had a GREAT potential to be a top heel in the WWE), a no-nonsense wrestler who really had the crowd going, while EstRRRada manages a STUPID, CRAPPY, REPACKAGED Jamal, Umaga. I call Umaga the three-move wrestler – the flying headbutt, the ass train, and the thumb (OH MY!! IT’S THE MOST STUPIDEST FINISHER EVER!!! LOOK OUT, WWE SUPERSTARS!!! IT’S THE THUMB OF DEATH!!!). (In an Austin Powers tone) That’s… about… it. The Samoan Bulldozer, my ass!!! Sheesh! Every time I see that stupid Umaga character, I’m thining, hey, I’m better off watching TNA’s Samoa Joe! Now, there’s a true Samoan bulldozer! It’s like this, you see: when EstRRada gets on the mic, I’m like YEAH! But the second that Umaga comes through the curtain, my energy level just dropped down into the Earth. I feel for Ric Flair. He had to job to this loser at Backlash.

Random Thought # 5: Women’s division heating up! It’s about time!

Who would’ve thought that WWE would invest time and talent in the fledging women’s division? Since Mickie James bounced her way into RAW, she has captured the Women’s Title and had a good feud with Trish Stratus. Now, as reported by wrestling news sites, WWE has signed several top indy women wrestlers, namely Beth Phoenix and UK’s Nikita. This just goes to show that the WWE has big plans for the women’s division. All this should put me at ease with the recurring IRONY of WWE putting women who shouldn’t be wrestling in matches while the women who should be wrestling is wasting her career as a valet. I’m talking about (my personal favorite) Lita. Well, at least she’s involved in main event storylines. But still, it’s bullshit! The likes of Torrie Wilson and Maria are wrestling while Lita is stuck in a “whore” character. It should be the other way around. But, then again, Lita has proven herself to be a women’s champion so what’s the point? This situation only proves that you can and should look at pro wrestling circumstances from various perspectives.

Random Thought # 6: I don’t have much Spirit for the Tag Team Division

What the F? As a special consideration, ALL FIVE members of the Spirit Squad are recognized as the World Tag Team Champions? Since when has that been allowed? Kenny and Mikey are technically the two tag champs who won the titles from Big Show and Kane. No disrespect to the Spirit Squad (I am a fan of their cheerleader gimmick), but this is pure bullshit. As if the tag team division isn’t garbage enough, now this comes along? For the nth time, the tag team division is, for now and probably will still be for a long time, purely shitted on. In recent memory, it is the easiest championship for a WWE wrestler to achieve. You can just tag with anybody and you’re all set! Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade won it once, then lost to Show and Kane, then the two spilt up. Bullshit! I hope that the WWE can get the tag team division back ti the heydays of the Dudleys, the Hardys, and Edge and Christian. Then Monday nights (Saturday nights here) and Friday nights (Sundays here) will be much more exciting to watch!

Random Thought # 7: May 19… Whatever…

Can this bit get any stupider? Kane snaps whenever someone says May 19 – the release date of his movie “See No Evil.” Now, I really think this one was done MAINLY TO PROMOTE his movie. How else can WWE promote it? From a marketing standpoint, it’s sheer genius. Having the audience remember that exact date will surely prompt the casual moviegoer to the box offices. But they exaggerated too much. I mean, they said that the May 19 angle will open another door to Kane’s character. Sure I’m all for that. But checking my calendar, May 19, 2006 doesn’t fall anywhere near a RAW show! It’s on a Saturday. How the hell will they explain that date on a RAW show when it’s way off the live Monday shows? I can’t even bear to watch Kane’s matches where a few minutes into it, the lights flicker and a deep voice would chime “May 19, May 19…” Please. They better think of something good or this one will be a stinker.

Random Thought # 8: The promo of the year! (so far)

Joey Styles blasted the mic in a recent RAW promo. He “quit” and spitted on Vince, the WWE, and pretty much everything else in between. His promo was, of course, a work/shoot one and I was glad that Creative allowed that to go on air. Sure, it was a prelude to an ECW angle but hey, it worked for me. That was, by far, the best promo of the year.

Random Thought # 9: ECW, Foley, Edge, and Rob Van Dam

Speaking of ECW, Mick Foley, the ultimate contemporary babyface, has turned heel and has aligned with his WM22 opponent, Edge! This seems a revival of his anti-hardcore character back in ECW. Well, this angle hasn’t developed that much, but it’s worth looking into, seeing that ECW will return in June for One Night Stand and a full-time show later in the year. EXTREEEME is back!

Random Thought # 10: On John Cena again…

Well, the boos are still there, but so are the sporadic cheers for the WWE champ, John Cena. I’m not complaining about his character knowing that D-X’s return will obviously revitalize his staleness. Oh yeah, Cena’s character may be a dud on TV, but his webshow, 5 Questions with The Champ, on wwe.com is a hoot. His kickass personality from 2003-mid-2005 is somewhat alive in that weekly webshow. His humor, which is rarely seen on TV, is very much evident and watching that webshow came as something for me to look forward to nowadays.

Well, that’s all for now. I’ll be back (hopefully) next week for my roots and roads/IWC piece. WHOOO!!!

ANALOGY ---> Smackdown! : Great Khali and Mark Henry ; RAW : HBK and HHH

RAW Superstars like Triple H (above) and Shawn Michaels make up what is arguably one of pro-wrestling greatest factions, the DeGeneration-X. SmackDown!, on the other hand, is without Kurt Angle & the late Eddie Guerrero and is constantly flooded by "overpushed pigs" like Mark Henry and The Great Khali. No wonder SmackDown! is the B-Show of the WWE.

P.O.L.I.T.I.K.O.
by Jeff Ty

Smackdown!, May 2, 2006
US Bank Arena, Cincinnati, Ohio

The analogy speaks volumes of how RAW is an "A-show", while Smackdown is a "B-show".

After witnessing two very OVERPUSHED pigs in The Great Khali and Mark Henry this past Sunday on WWE Smackdown!, I literally prayed for somebody named Eddie Guerrero to resurrect himself and slap some sense into Smackdown! I also hoped for the animal named Batista to recuperate immediately, whom by the way was sidelined by the careless hands of the big oaf named Mark Henry. I wished that the Undertaker could return full-time and immerse himself into the storylines more, not just scaring everybody with gongs and eerie music and visual effects. I could forgive Randy Orton for his recent actions just to get rid of certain undeserving superstars. I tried to remind myself that this "World Strongest Man" was also the stupid and risky dumbo that put the unreplaceable Kurt Angle out of commission for two Smackdown! episodes. I also noticed that household names such as Chris Benoit and Booker T are nowhere near main-event status. Furthermore, upcoming stars such as Lashley, MNM, and Paul Burchill, despite overwhelming positive reactions from the audience, are still mere spectators to the very, very UNNERVING sight of the two OVERPUSHED pigs getting what they want, whenever they want to.

And don't get me started with the current World Heavyweight Champion. Please.

If only Rey Mysterio has these kinds of bona fide rivals such as Kurt Angle, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, Randy Orton, or even Booker T, then it is logical to have him as World Champion. But WWE, for all its smarts, decided for the Champ to feud with the "Wrestling God". JBL is a proven former champion that didn't fold even once in his 10-month reign as WWE Champion. His glory days are over, and yet here he is again. Although I favor his mic skills and like him a notch over Rey Mysterio himself or Booker T, he should give way to others. Also on this episode, I saw another tag team of OVERPUSHED pigs in the Gymini. So what, winning over Scotty and Funaki? What is the point here? I didn't get to see Paul Burchill and MNM. Damn it. What the hell is happening?

Now, seeing him destroyed by Mark Henry just makes me sick. After injuring Batista and Kurt Angle, WWE had still the guts to send him to work with an already injured Rey Mysterio. Why not Booker T, a heel also? Who is this Mark Henry by the way? At Wrestlemania 22, he was the only wrestler that was greeted by complete silence in his entrance from the ironically flamboyant Chicago crowd. Nobody had even the willingness to boo him, and when his match had dragged on, out of sheer disgust, "Henry Sucks" chants were shouted. It was not out of routine, but just a sign of complete turn-off from the fans. In the grandest stage of them all, he went for a cover or a pin on the Undertaker in a Casket Match. This is just bulls***. Enough of the former "Sexual Chocolate".

After his idiotic stint at Wrestlemania 22, WWE brought in which I believe is a far worse wrestler. The Great Khali. When offered the microphone, damn, even my pet cat can talk clearer than this senseless wall. What the hell is WWE offering the fans? I won't go on to discuss The Great Khali because he just pisses me off everytime I see him.

On this period when the signs on RAW all point to the much-awaited D-X, which perhaps is the greatest faction/stable of all-time, people like the Great Khali and Mark Henry pollute the legacy of Smackdown!.

Sad, but true.

MALE CHEERLEADERS: Missing ingredients in Monday Night RAW?

Do Monday nights really need a little "Spirit" uplifting?

P.O.L.I.T.I.K.O.
By Jeff Ty

The recent developments on Monday Night RAW have not been very pretty, with Cena’s lingering mixed reactions and the blasphemous angles by the McMahons that earned a censor from our very own JACK TV as concrete examples. Of course, there are still superstars who continue to give the fans what they want, like Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Rob Van Dam, Shelton Benjamin, Carlito, Chris Masters, Mickie James and Ric Flair. Then there is Edge, which despite being forced to short live his WWE Championship title reign, has been simply very solid and impressive as a top heel on RAW. It is a contrast to the newcomer Umaga, which is just a repackaged Jamal from 3 Minute Warning. Some of us know what happened to Jamal and his ex-partner Rosey after the gimmick died away fast. Jamal suddenly disappeared, while the latter became S.H.I.T., or Super Hero In Training. That’s okay, Rosey still a lower-card wrestler even though he was repackaged. For his equally huge counterpart, Jamal or Umaga was recently seen pinning a 16-time world champion at Backlash in Lexington, Kentucky, USA.

Jesus. The “Naitch”, Ric Flair, pinned by Jamal, or “Morning”/Umaga?

For that, I could still take that as a grain of salt. After all, WWE had Mark Henry in the main event of Royal Rumble this year. Or some guy named Gunner Scott pinning a five-time WCW Champion on Smackdown just few weeks ago.

Even though the fans would just groan and let these slip away, somehow we just have to think of the other WWE superstars that already paid their dues and are in dire need of showing their true mettle in a major angle, not just as a filler wrestler or a jobber. Rob Conway. Trevor Murdoch. Paul Burchill. Psicosis. Super Crazy. Sylvan. And for those superstars who thought they have had it, like Carlito, Chris Masters, Lashley, and MNM, they would only find out that the next big thing is not either one of them.

The Spirit Squad, composed of 5 male cheerleaders. I had tried to neglect their names, but their annoying entrance pains me to remember some of them: Nicky, Kenny, Johnny, Nicky, and …? Wow, that’s good, 4 out of 5. On their debut, I thought that their presence was just a waste of time getting into my nerves and others’ nerves as well. Wrestlers are supposed to be tough, but some smart aleck backstage thinks that executing stupid cheers about worthless things would take these clowns to the next level. I really feel for Lilian Garcia, while announcing the guidelines for the Royal Rumble match proper, the Spirit Squad interrupted, came uninvited, and deliberately sucked the excitement and life out of Miami fans for the Royal Rumble match. Fortunately, Triple H’s entrance restored some much-needed order in the arena that night. When you make your debut on a pay-per-view, a major one at that, you would right away know the true reactions of the fans towards your character. At Wrestlemania 22, the Chicago fans let the WWE know that John Cena absolutely sucks. The Miami fans at the Royal Rumble were caught off-guard by these idiots and fell dead silent. “What the hell is going on”, I could feel someone asking while I watched the cheerleaders pollute a tradition known as the Royal Rumble. If you have to get some heel heat, do it in a more conventional way, for Pete’s sake. I honestly believe that WWE programming is no joke. Really.

Just hours removed from the first May edition of RAW, they were named co-General Managers. Okay, so what, they “helped” the McMahons win at Backlash. Then as I read along the RAW results, they personally had controlled RAW as co-GMs. First, they made a Diva Tag Team Cheerleader Match. In this one, they had two of the best female wrestlers in Mickie James and Victoria losing to eye candies Maria and Torrie Wilson. They had the guts to manipulate Shawn Michaels and Kane. If that wasn’t enough, they also manipulated Triple H and Edge. What? The last straw –

A Spirit Squad member challenging Cena for the WWE Championship. If you have monitored champions and challengers for this very prestigious title, their names wouldn’t raise eyebrows, with the exceptions of Mr. McMahon and Eric Bischoff, but please, they are there because it is in the storylines. Now, they have an ordinary novice wrestler having a shot at the WWE Championship.

That’s right, the WWE Championship.

I will tune in to next week’s RAW and decide if the Spirit Squad is really the missing ingredient or the lost piece of jigsaw puzzle that would make Monday Night RAW great again since the Attitude Era.

R.I.P. Eddie? Not Yet.

You can credit Eddie for Rey's main-event push, but I have my doubts with Rey as a world champion

THE PRO-WRESTLING DRIVER SEAT
By Hub Pacheco

(This column was originally published in http//:nikonboy.livejournal.com on 6 Feb. 2006 and now republished here for better referencing and for keeping the subject more up-to-date. Also, I've added a follow up entry at the last paragraph to assess how the subject has developed.)

Eddie Guerrero was a great man. He was a proud champion. He was arguably SmackDown’s main draw. When he passed away on November of 2005, we were caught off guard. Fans all over the world were in tears. The whole IWC paid their due respects in various columns. WWE management too as they held a tribute show for Eddie in Minneapolis. Selected superstars spoke in very emotional video messages. Everyone was out of character, including the heels, in respect for Eddie. Eddie was rightfully honored on that day. And that should’ve been the end of it.

The succeeding Raws and SmackDowns were still understandably in a state of mourning. Fans chanted for Eddie when either Chavo, Rey Mysterio, or Batista showed up. EG armbands were still wrapped around Rey’s biceps. I can understand the love. I can understand the Eddie chants. I can understand superstars imitating his shoulder shake dance and trademark moves. What I don’t understand is why Vince Almighty keeps on injecting Eddie in storyline promos.

During a Smackdown episode after Survivor Series 2005 (It was called a Smackdown Special), The main event was Rey Mysterio vs. The Big Show. Rey came out in a lowrider in respect to Eddie. Fine. Sure. That was nice. During the match, Big Show’s tag team partner, Kane interfered. Makes sense. All right. Then, Undertaker came in to help Rey. Really made sense because Kane is Taker’s brother. Finally, Randy Orton bursted in. Nice booking here because they were continuing the feud. The scene left Orton and Taker hammering each other. They made their way to the lowrider where Orton drove it (with Taker inside) straight into the SmackDown entrance (the one with the big clenched fist), causing it to explode in a fiery rage. Now, normally I would say, COOL! Nice effects! But need I remind them that it was a lowrider that they blew up? It was a straight out disrespect for Eddie. Rumor has it backstage that a superstar had the choice of backing out of certain promos if they feel it is too much. All they had to do was sat “no.”

All right, Vinnie. You had your ratings. Let’s move on. What? You’re not done yet?

During this year’s Royal Rumble (SPOILER WARNING! STOP READING IF YOU DON’T WANT TO BE SPOILED OF THE RESULTS), after Rey picked his number (number 2 entrant), he joked that Eddie must’ve played a joke on him. Rey dedicated the Rumble match to Eddie. Hrmm, a bit weird but okay. A little mention of Eddie here and there wouldn’t hurt.

Rey went on and won the Rumble match. On to RAW and SmackDown.

On the Raw following the Rumble, Triple H cut a promo where he said that if he can’t take out his frustration (of not winning the Rumble) on Rey Msyterio and Eddie Guerrero, Chave Guerrero might as well take the hit. They had a match where Trips won. Hrmm, going a bit too far there.

On the SmackDown following the Rumble, Randy Orton also cut a promo where he insulted Rey and his win at the Rumble, saying that Eddie is not in resting in heaven but he’s in hell. Hold on there. Now, that’s crossing the line.

What the hell is wrong with Vince? Why do they keep on mentioning, no, insulting, the legacy of Eddie through stupid promos. Sure, they want to get some heel heat but come on, the guy’s dead. Leave him be. Linda Robin said, and I agree, that superstars can imitate his moves, look up to the heavens, and wear EG armbands and all, but that should be the end of it

Vince wants controversy. That’s how the WWE has been able to survive all these years, through adapting to their audience and shocking them. The WWE’s newest slogan is The Power is Back! Well, if they think that disrespecting Eddie through this means that some remnants of the Attitude era (where anything and everything can happen) is back, they’re dead wrong.

Here’s a thought: What if WWE Creative kept on using Vince to push storylines after he’s dead? What would Vince feel? Being the biggest a**h*le that he is, I think he’d like that very much.

Sometimes, I think that Vince is the shrewdest businessman out there and at the same time the most insensitive businessman (Hence, the A**H*LE chants). Vince has sunk so low this time it just makes me sick to my stomach. Keep Eddie out of your shit. He’s not working for the WWE anymore (his image and copyright may still be).

When Davey Boy Smith passed away, they held tributes. And that was it. End of the story.

When Curt Hennig passed away, they held tributes. And that was it. End of the story.

When Road Warrior Hawk passed away, they held tributes. And that was it. End of the story.

When Brian Pillman passed away, they held tributes. And that was it. End of the story.

When Owen Hart passed away, they held tributes. And that was it. End of the story.

Have I made my point?

I wrote that one when WWE was at the height of the Rey "doin' it for Eddie" angle. After WM22, let's see what the consequences are of Rey's main event push.

Rey Mysterio is now the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION as predicted by his Royal Rumble win. Now, I don’t mean any disrespect to Mysterio, but he doesn’t have the look of a champion. Frankly, he really deserved it after all his years in the WWE. He had a couple of teases of main event title pushes, but up until the 2006 Rumble, or up until Eddie Guerrero’s demise, he was abything but a main-eventer. All right, with that being said, Mysterio as a WORLD champion doesn’t sit well with me. He doesn’t feel like a champion for me. Maybe I feel this way because of the way (or storyline) of how he came to the top. By using Guerrero’s death as a reason for a main event run, Mysterio really is a “charity case” (quoted from Randy Orton’s promo and I feel that it is really true). I mean, we’ve heard the (slight) BOOS from the crowd when he came out as champion. It seems to me that some fans feel the same way as I do. Mysterio’s mic work isn’t that good. Lines like “this is for you, Eddie” or “believe in the size of my heart” are just too CHEESY for me to buy it. Fine, you had a good WM moment when Vickie Guerrero, Eddie's widow, and Cahave Guerrero came out after Rey had won the ttile. But the big picyure still remains quesionable. His in-ring charisma isn’t too hot either. I mean, besides the unreal wrestling moves, there’s nothing much to watch out for. To keep it simple, his main event push is a fact of circumstance. Imagine if Eddie hadn’t passed away, it could’ve been Orton-Guerrero at WM22.

For me, I would’ve sat well with Orton winning or Kurt Angle retaining at WM22. (But Orton has his backstage issues that led to an indefinite suspension and Angle being injured by Mark Henry weeks later at a SD! Taping, it went well, technically.) Add the fact that the match itself was a bit too short for me to feel that Mysterio really earned the title. He also goofed BIG TIME during the match. He slipped while trying to maneuver a 619 off the ring posts. I mean, you can’t goof at the match where you’re booked to win it all.

Ah, but here’s when WWE booking comes in to save the day. As reported in various prowrestling news sites, RVD is scheduled to cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase in the next ECW One Night Stand this June. And he needs a good heel to feud with. I speculated earlier that John Cena would do good to turn heel at the ECW PPV, but as it turns out, WWE is booking RVD to challenge for SmackDown’s WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE. Rey vs. RVD? Two former ECW standouts going at it? Two faces fighting? No. With Judgment Day coming up, Rey is scheduled to drop the title to JBL, thus giving the ECV PPV a good main event feud with JBL vs. RVD. Remember that aside from Angle, JBL is the other top heel who opposed the ECW brand at last year’s One Night Stand. It seems like Mysterio won’t be champ for too long, unlike someone we know from the other brand.

But, in fairness to Mysterio, from a perspective of being with the company for so long, he really deserved the title.

AIN'T NO STOPPIN' BENJAMIN NOW? YOU BET!

You CANNOT deny the great athleticism and wrestling prowess that Shelton Benjamin possesses. But his character still needs some retooling.

THE PRO-WRESTLING DRIVER SEAT
By Hub Pacheco

(This column was originally published in http//:nikonboy.livejournal.com on 29 Jan. 2006 and now republished here for better referencing and for keeping the subject more up-to-date. Also, I've added a follow up entry at the last paragraph to assess how the subject developed.)

Shelton Benjamin, upon arriving at RAW via the draft lottery after Wrestlemania 20, sent shockwaves throughout RAW that included TWO wins against Triple H and an EIGHT-month reign as the Intercontinental Champion (IC).

Benjamin had been teamed up with Charlie Haas on SmackDown! prior to the draft to form Team Angle and later changed their names to The World’s Greatest Tag Team. Charlie Haas was released by the WWE months later. More on Haas later.

Yet despite all that he has achieved, Benjamin has yet to blossom into a real singles superstar. How’s that? Well, for one, as prestigious as the IC title is, he never developed any substantial feuds while he held the title. Feud with Chris Jericho? Yes, but it was short-lived and Jericho is, of course, a main event type of guy. No REAL challenges were made while he held the title. If there were, it wouldn’t have mattered because during that time, the IC title was in limbo, storywise. It wasn’t given much importance. Why? I would go back to another reason to Benjamin’s rocky career. While I am a big fan of Benjamin’s in-ring performance (remember the RAW match with HBK when a standing Benjamin unexpectedly jumped on both feet to the top rope, turned around, and whacked HBK off his feet.), his mic skills were never fully developed. He had a couple of good mic sessions with Triple H, but that was also short-lived.

Another minor reason to consider: WWE is somewhat racist when giving the top championship to an African-American. An African-American wrestler has yet to represent the company as its champion, unless you count The Rock, who is part-Samoan and is HARDLY representative of the African-American people, and Booker T, during the Invasion angle where he held the WCW title. Yeah right. Benjamin will NEVER ascend to the rank of a champion simply because the WWE is a bit racist.

Benjamin’s eight-month IC reign ended during the last draft day RAW, where he lost it to a debuting Carlito. What is it with WWE Creative with debut title wins? That’s just f---ed up, man. As if things can’t get any worse, Benjamin would go on a long losing streak, prompting many Internet Pro Wrestling analysts to think that Benjamin would soon be out the WWE door, joining many MISUSED talents like Matt Morgan, Gail Kim, Haas, and the like. There was also word that a heel turn would be in the works, as he had a minor verbal tussle with HBK. But that wasn’t about to happen as well.

In comes Momma.

During the New Year’s Revolution (NYR), Benjamin was accompanied by his Momma (comedienne Thea Vidale), apparently pissed that Benjamin was still in a losing slump. Backstage at the NYR PPV, the World’s Largest Love Machine Viscera tried to get in on with Momma, prompting Momma to taunt Big Vis into a match with her boy. Shelton won, with a little help from Momma and her handbag.

Apparently, Benjamin’s minor de-push was a foreshadowing of Momma’s arrival. Experts said that Benjamin’s current character can’t perform alone. That’s why Momma had to be brought in. While I agree with that, I don’t agree that Momma should be helping him win matches. Benjamin is very capable of winning on his own. Why not have Momma come off very well only on the mic? This angle is an exact clone of the Booker T/Sharmell angle.

There is some good news, though. Haas, after some independent bookings, is reportedly working on a WWE comeback, possibly on RAW, in an angle with Benjamin. If this is so, I can imagine a really great feud with Benjamin. With their history and all, this should be on for the books, unless WWE Creative manages to screw things up again.

Well, there you have it. Shelton Benjamin is a great in ring performer, one of the best in the whole WWE roster. WWE Creative should continue to pursue his unlimited potential, unless they want Benjamin to join other former WWE talent on TNA. That wouldn’t be good at all, now would it?

This is mainly a follow-up to my piece on Shelton Benjamin’s push back in January. Well, from the looks of it, some of what I said came true, although I’m now wishing some of it didn’t.

Shelton’s Momma underwent surgery a couple of weeks back and it seems that Momma will no longer be part of WWE TV. And she was just getting very over with the fans. Charlie Haas, one the other hand, is BACK in the WWE! Now, that is good news as he has been working a few matches with Benjamin as of late. I’m hoping that a feud between Benjamin and Haas is in the works.

Well, for Benjamin, the past couple of weeks have been good to him, character-wise. First, during Wrestlemania 22’s Money In The Bank ladder match, he put on a number of high spots (I was especially impressed by his Spider-Man-like springboard from the top rope to the middle steps of the ladder.). Now, Benjamin’s in a program with Rob Van Dam, the winner of the MITB ladder match. The two will go at it at this year’s Backlash where RVD will put the MITB briefcase on the line while Benjamin will put the IC title on the line. It’s kind of like the Hogan-Warrior stipulation back in Wrestlemania 6, where Hogan’s WWF title was up for grabs against Warrior’s IC title.

Now, I would hate to see Benjamin drop the IC title but I keep thinking that this may be RVD’s biggest year in the WWE. Of course, the IWC reported and it has been somewhat confirmed that RVD will cash in the MITB at this year’s ECW One Night Stand PPV. An IC title and (HOPEFULLY) a WWE title would definitely set the year for RVD. And for WWE Creative, Cena retaining is LOGICAL. Why? Well, you can IMAGINE the THUNEROUS BOOS drowning Cena at One Night Stand. In there, the BOOS wouldn’t be questioned. It would be logical since Cena is in front of a very hot pro-ECW crowd. A heel turn for Cena there is also very LOGICAL.

As for Benjamin, he is beginning to show some depth to his heel/face character. When Momma was around, you can’t tell if he was face or heel. In his exceptional mic work here during the February 24-25 RAW LIVE TOUR, you could tell he was trying to get some heel heat, and he did get it. He did a great job, too. Now, with Momma taking a permanent back seat, Benjamin comes out on RAW dressed up flamboyantly, a more obvious evolution of his in-ring persona. And I predict his first major feud as a flamboyant character will be with Haas. That should motivate Haas to also build up his character. That is good news and in time, with the proper pacing, Benjamin can be developed into a good top heel for RAW. With this kind of momentum, his entrance theme will prove to be true, there ain’t no stoppin’ him now.

CHRISTIAN, TNA-NWA Champ = GREAT!, for the rest of TNA = NOT YET SURE FOR NOW

Christian as the TNA-NWA champ? A bit rushed for my taste.

THE PRO-WRESTLING DRIVER SEAT
Hub Pacheco

February 12, 2006 at TNA’s Against All Odds PPV. Christian Cage achieved what he never achieved in the WWE – He became the main event guy.

Christian defeated Jeff Jarrett and took home his first-ever main event championship – the TNA-NWA Heavyweight title, something that he never did during his ten-plus years in the WWE. Now, for me, I can say that I, as a fan of Christian’s career, am very happy for Christian as he finally achieved main event greatness. But after giving it some thought, I feel that it was a bit rushed.

You see, before Christian’s arrival to TNA, he was, career-wise, on a roll in the WWE. It was evident that he was being given a big-ass push. Leading up to Wrestlemania 21, Christian was starting a good feud with then (and still WWE champion, for now. Anything can happen now especially after the OVERLY NEGATIVE reception from the Chicago crowd) John Cena. Christian was all over RAW, badmouthing Cena, even rapping about him. Now, fans aren’t Neanderthals. It’s predictable that, one way or another, Cena and Christian would duke it out someway, somehow. Draft lottery came. Cena on RAW. DUH, Christian comes out and starts a feud. They would eventually clash at Vengeance. Cena retained the WWE title. Christian is then shipped to SmackDown!, where he would continue his big-ass push. Or so I thought. He was involved in the main event, FOR A WHILE. Then came a short program with Booker T. On October 30, he CHOSE not to resign with the WWE and eventually signed a deal with TNA. Maybe he got so impatient with WWE. Maybe he knew that a main event push was unlikely to happen anytime soon.

Now, Christian, upon arriving in TNA, announced his desire to capture the TNA-NWA Heavyweight title. To make a long story short, Christian turned face and immediately captured the company’s top championship. Honestly, I can’t comment on this as I would do if this was in the WWE because, truth be told, I haven’t watched A DAY’S WORTH of TNA programming. The WWE has a history for me growing up. Tuning in to the WWE is like reading the newspaper everyday. It’s a habit. TNA, for me, is just an afterthought. So for me to judge TNA prematurely would be unfair. The good thing is: I am going to set aside time for TNA Impact! after watching the Against All Odds main event. Oh yeah, I watched it, by accident while channel-surfing. See?

All right, I can’t judge TNA but I can judge the Jarrett-Christian match that I (accidentally) saw on Star World. First, the video package that leads up to the match. Um, it’s pretty shallow, really. Christian, based on the video, basically said that he wanted the TNA-NWA title so bad because that is something he never achieved in the WWE. Jarrett, on the other hand, went on with his usual “you can’t beat me I’m the friggin’ King of the Mountain” tirade. That’s it. That’s the whole feud. On to the match.

The match was pretty awesome! I have to hand it to TNA for their booking of this match. There were the usual ref bumps (although the leg bump was a bit badly done) and the Gail Kim (Damn, I wish she’d never left the WWE. She’s a great wrestler with great looks to boot.) interferences. Oh yeah, recently fired senior referee Earl Hebner (!) officiated the match! With all those elements in place, I can say this: just replace the TNA set (the mats, logos, the six-sided ring, Mike Tenay, etc.) with a WWE set and you wouldn’t see the difference! It was like watching WWE programming! Only this time, it featured WWE midcard mainstays. Sorry, that was harsh. I meant no offense to both wrestlers, but that was the roles that were given to them while they were with the #1 wrestling promotion.

Going back to Christian, I feel that, while his main-event championship was very well deserved and long overdue, it may have been a bit rushed. It’s as if TNA banked on Christian’s upward momentum with the WWE (moths before Christian quit) to package him as their #1 guy. Also, I think that Christian’s main-event title push is a big insult to the current TNA roster, guys who have yet to break out of the midcard. They have been with the company longer than Christian, and here he is, he comes in and gets the title after only barely four months with the promotion. That kinda hurts, doesn’t it?

Here’s to hoping that Christian, a regular WWE midcarder, can turn things around for TNA as its champion, as the face of that (so far) harmless WWE competition.

Ah well, what do I know about TNA? I don’t even know who the members of Team Canada are. I just watch TNA because that’s where my favorite released WWE stars go to.

(Sorry for the late post. Summertime can lead to laziness at times. I'll bounce back next week.)

THE BOOGEYMAN CHARACTER IS JUST HORRIBLE, REALLY

The Boogeyman: a really crappy and stupid character for now.

THE PRO-WRESTLING DRIVER SEAT
By Hub Pacheco

(This column was originally published in http//:nikonboy.livejournal.com on 13 Feb. 2006 and was reedited and now republished here for better referencing and for keeping the subject more up-to-date.)

When The Boogeyman first debuted last year on SmackDown, giving GM Teddy Long a shock when network exec Palmer Cannon introduced him, I thought to myself: WTF is this?!!?? What crap is WWE shoving to our faces now?

But as weeks went by, I was impressed with his mic skills. Of course, he’s just rhyming out some weird statements and/or nursery rhymes to intimidate the SmackDown! superstars. But he was entertaining to watch, even if he hasn’t had a single match inside a WWE ring. As a good friend of mine commented: “He’ll be a face soon because of his antics.” Yes, it seemed the Boogeyman was headed in that direction. Or was he?

Fast forward to Royal Rumble 2006. JBL vs. The Boogeyman. What can I say about the match? I felt sorry for JBL. I’m not really a fan of JBL, but I will say this: I feel sorry that JBL had to job to the Boogeyman. JBL wrestles great but to see him job to the Boogeyman, that’s just sad. I feel sad. To recap that match, it went like this: JBL pounds on Boogeyman. He twitches as if unaffected. A couple more shots from JBL and he fights back with a kick. Then as JBL recovers from that single kick, Boogeyman pump-handle-slams JBL for the win. A VERY short match. Now, I’m not judging The Boogeyman based on that match alone. Observe his other matches. They are VERY quick and VERY unimpressive.

Sure, Boogeyman needs credible wins to build his character’s credibility, but you see, that’s where the problem lies. His character, although entertaining and very over with most WWE fans, is very shallow for me. How will he rise up the ranks with his all-too-slow entrances, overly-disgusting worm-eating, and so-called wrestling “skills?” It will be difficult for him to establish great feuds if his matches are too fast and stupid and his only edge against potential opponents is his creepiness. I think it was the columnist Phantom Lord who made available a link to what the Boogeyman looked like before his WWE stint. I have seen the image and, as usual, he is a bodybuilder sculpted to near perfection.

Marty Wright is the Boogeyman’s real name. He was cut from WWE Tough Enough IV for lying about his age when he entered the reality show. He said he was 30 years old when he was actually over 40. His passion for getting into the business eventually landed him a WWE developmental contract with OVW. His Boogeyman gimmick debuted in June 2005 and was quickly jumped to WWE TV four months later. That was how over the Boogeyman character was in OVW. Now before I go on any further with my thoughts on the Boogeyman, let me just remind you that I am criticizing/booing Boogeyman the WWE character, not Marty Wright the man. I feel I have to say that since I am currently overwhelmed by the anti-Cena chants that was heard during this year’s WrestleMania Hall Of Fame induction ceremony and during the WrestleMania 22 main event. I think the “F—k you, Cena” chants was a bit overboard as I feel that they are vilifying Cena the man, not Cena the mismanaged WWE champion. I will publish my complete thoughts on the event as soon as it is broadcast here in Manila. I wouldn’t want to spoil anybody. Going back to Marty Wright, the man, I have no beef with him. It’s his WWE gimmick that I hate.

WWE has had great success with weird/supernatural characters in the past – from the Undertaker to Kane to George “The Animal” Steele. But unlike them, the Boogeyman will have a hard time to “evolve” his character. Yes. Taker and Kane also struck fear to opponents, much like what the Boogeyman is doing right now, but at least Taker and Kane backed those scare tactics up with great wrestling! Also, remember that Kane successfully went from masked monster to a face character to an unmasked monster and now, to an unmasked face killing machine. All right, The Boogeyman is currently a face, isn’t he? Well, how the hell will he contend for future singles titles if all he ever does is scare the sh-t out of his opponents by whacking big clocks over his head and eating mouthfuls of worms?

All right, let’s look at the current program The Boogeyman is in right now. He is currently involved in an angle with Booker T. Again, like JBL, I feel really sorry for Booker for he is stuck in a stupid I’m-really-afraid-of-the-Boogeyman-angle. I mean, the man is a five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time, five-time WCW World Heavyweight Champion (and I’m not just saying that because it’s Booker’s famous catch-phrase. He is a great pro wrestler.). A man who should be in the main event or at least in the mid-card is stuck in a lame-a$$ angle with a comedy character like the Boogeyman. Much like JBL was. It was a good thing that after the Rumble, their angle was done. And wait ‘till their match at WM22, where Book and Sharmell will face the Boogeyman, that should be something. Yeah, something to change the channel for about a couple of minutes for. Now, after that “job” is over and done with, what’s next for the Boogeyman? Does every superstar have to be afraid of him just for the Boogeyman to have a decent program with? Do you really expect Chris Benoit, the WWE character, to be actually afraid of the Boogeyman when they are put in a program together? Yeah, right. Only the likes of Booker T, Sharmell, and JBL has the right selling skills to sell his fear of the Boogeyman.

If The Boogeyman, with his horrendous wrestling skills and lame scare tactics, plans to go on a lengthy run with the WWE, the creative team (yeah, I bet they really are THAT creative) should rework some aspects of his character. We fans are all to familiar of a superstar who when weak at something, will make it up with another aspect of his character (mic skills and mat skills to be more exact). Some obvious examples would be Shelton Benjamin, Batista and John Cena. No further explanations needed. It is a rarity nowadays for new superstars to have both skills like HBK, HHH, Kurt Angle, and Ric Flair.

The WWE is banking on too much entertainment and too little of wrestling nowadays. I’m not saying that entertainment is a bad thing. It’s just that when it comes right down to the essentials, for me it is all about the wrestling INSIDE the ring. If you have outstanding promos, well and good. But that should also compliment the actual wrestling, not the disgusting worm-eating.

Background info from: www.obsessedwithwrestling.com

MY TAKE ON THIS WHOLE CENA FIASCO

You gotta hand it to to Cena. He's still very professional
even after excessive and blatant jeers toward him.
photo by Hub Pacheco

ProWrestling Driver Seat
by Hub Pacheco

A lot has already been said about John Cena and the fiasco he is in right now. Many are against him because “he sucks” at wrestling. Many (the ladies) are for him because he’s “good-looking.” The IWC has repeatedly grilled Cena for his in-ring incompetence and kid-friendly mic work. I won’t repeat all that have been said. People are tired of reading the same sh*t over and over again. What I’ll do is provide my own insights into the Cena situation and hope that what I say hasn’t already been said.

If you think about it, Cena is a lucky guy. The WWE handed him everything he could’ve asked for. Aside from leading the company as its champion, Cena also had tons of merchandise to his name, reminiscent of Hogan’s early WWE title reign. Cena has a rap album, action figures, t-shirts, and, of course, the custom-made spinner belt. Let’s talk about the last two things, shall we?

The spinner belt is custom-made by WWE to suit Cena’s wrestling persona – the bad-mouthing, tough-talking sumbitch character he HAD that best exemplified today’s hiphop generation. If you recall, the U.S. title he once held was also a spinner belt. Both of Cena’s title belts were custom-made to suit HIS character? WWE must really love him so much that they would build the whole company around his character’s appeal. I can’t remember the last time when a superstar was built up to have both of their titles custom-made to suit their character. One title, yes. But two? I can’t remember. Hogan had his WCW World title sprayed with nWo on it. Not really that custom-made but still. Stone Cold had his skull belt as his custom-made WWF title. But his IC title? Normal. So for Cena to have both of his title belts custom-made for his character is a big honor. Stone Cold and Hogan only had one custom-made title. Cena had two.

Yes, WWE really wanted to package Cena into a combo of Stone Cold Steve Austin (trash-talking, ass-kicking, hates authority) and The Rock (excellent mic work, great audience appeal). Proof of that was the feud Cena had with then-GM Eric Bischoff, an obviously poor imitation of the Austin-Vince feud, and the five-knuckle-shuffle move Cena executes, an imitation of the Rock’s People’s elbow. I’ll not delve into those two points any further since a lot has already been said about those two points.

It would take a while before the WWE would realize that Cena was losing his appeal to the dominant adult male audience. (See previous post by Jeff Ty.) He was becoming too soft for comfort. His promos were too soft for the adult male audience to take in. “I never back down. I never quit” was more kid-friendly. As WWE would want Cena to appeal to. Now, here’s the best part of the whole Cena grilling.

Cena's in-ring abilities are severely put to question nowadays. I, for one, wouldn’t admit it because when he was on SmackDown!, it wasn’t that evident. It was evident when he came to RAW. (Again, see previous post for more on this.) From my point of view, the flak came from Cena’s excessive use of clotheslines. As a comeback move, he would do about three to four clotheslines to his opponent. And to casual fans or smarks, that isn’t really impressive. Solar Entertainment’s WWE forum has a thread there about the viciousness of Cena’s F-U. Some agreed that the F-U targeted the back area, which wasn’t that credible and all. With all due respect to the people there, I really don’t think that’s the point. There are a lot of wrestling finishers that target the back area and it’s still credible enough, like The Rockbottom. I mean, it’s about execution and for me, Cena executes the F-U pretty damn well. The fans can get pretty rough at times. That’s why WWE had Cena employ the STFU (STF actually, but Joey Styles renamed it to, again, suit Cena. Pretty creative on Styles’ part.) submission to gain added in-ring credibility. Yet all this talk about his in-ring abilities can also be attributed to his character’s persona. He is billed as a brawler after all, not a highflyer. So you can’t expect him to do a moonsault on his opponents. If he did, it would contradict his character’s tough guy persona.

Speaking of the fans getting pretty rough, I would like to make a not-too-subtle reference to the crowd at Araneta Coliseum during last month’s RAW LIVE TOUR. I really don’t like those people who start those “Cena Sucks!” chants. I mean, c’mon, I really don’t think that is appropriate. This is addressed to all you Cena-haters during the RAW LIVE TOUR. Yes, you may have all these comments about Cena – that his wrestling abilities sucks and his kid-friendly mic work – but you should keep them all to yourself. Think about it. It has been over a decade since the WWE had a show here. And you DISRESPECT the champion by chanting “you suck?” Again, as Jeff Ty said, if you get in the ring with Cena, who would suck? Yes, it is your right to cheer for anyone you like. It’s a “free” country, after all. But do you want the WWE to have an impression that the Filipino fans are just like the U.S. fans? But fortunately, that’s not entirely true as during the two-day RAW LIVE TOUR, ALL superstars were cheered. But getting back, sure, Cena hasn’t had the RESPECT of the fans but that doesn’t mean that you should DISRESPECT him as well. He, a champion, traveled halfway around the world to perform, to entertain you and you BOO him? Now, that’s very unbecoming of a Filipino. I see the post-colonial mentality of imitation here. And that shouldn’t be the case. We Filipinos have our own character. And for those of you who chanted “Cena sucks” that night, shame on you.

As I’ve said, Cena doesn’t have the respect of the adult male audience. But being a good professional, he didn’t mind all that, at first. But then it got to a point that he ACKNOWLEDGED the jeers. “Some have chosen to ride with me” and “I am not the company’s greatest athlete” still resound in my mind. (Again, see previous post for more on this.) I have to hand it to Cena for taking all the jeers in and being a true professional. That is something all the Cena-haters out there should admire about him.

Given all this, where does Cena go from here? WWE has made it clear that it doesn’t want to turn Cena heel since it would drastically affect the sales of Cena merchandise (kids and ladies mostly). Have Cena drop the title? Been there, done that. Poor Edge. I really hope he gets to be champ again. A solution here is that the WWE could put him up against a proven talent. And who a better proven talent than Triple H?

Cena’s feud with Triple H is a great idea on the part of WWE creative. This should help Cena gain some respect from the fans that overly boo him. (Yes, even you, Ms. Linda Robin :) ) Wrestlemania 22’s main event with The Game and Cena should be a good one, not great, just good. It all depends on how HHH will put Cena over. And I believe that should be the goal of WM22. It is for Cena to gain respect from the fans. It’s a win-win situation for all. If everything goes well, Cena leaves WM22 with the fans’ respect. Triple H leaves as the next Undertaker (someone who puts someone over). It’s not all about the WWE title. This Wrestlemania main event is for respectability.

Well, there you have it. That’s my take on the whole Cena situation. But I feel that I haven’t really made my point since it’s been weeks since I wrote a strong piece. To remedy that, here’s a really great read to solidify my point - http://www.obsessedwithwrestling.com/columns/jt/02.html

I’ll be back next week or days later with my republished thoughts on the Boogeyman character. My thoughts on Wrestlemania 22 will have to wait as I don’t want to be a spoiler for the fans here in Manila. We are two weeks late, after all.